Why Yoga?
After spending years in the performing industry I felt that my whole life is stuck. I felt like I didn´t get enough air to breathe, not enough space to be. As a result I was searching for more and more material stuff and mental attachments to try and calm this feeling. More training, another show Production, another project, another side job as aerial instructor.
My day was full from morning till night. Actually doing things I love - but still it never felt enough. I never felt enough. I constantly had the feeling there has to be more, I need to be more, I need to do more.
Until I found Yoga. Through an injury. Being in a state where I could not move properly, where I could not run from one project to the next. All I could do is gentle yoga and focus on my breathing.
At first I was super frustrated. This just contributed to my feeling of not being enough.
But then with time, I suddenly found this practice gave me something more valuable then all of my other activities: SPACE.
I suddenly found space. In my body, in my mind, in my whole being.
I found space to explore my body and its connections. I found space in my head to examine why I was constantly running.
After that I never gave up my daily yoga and meditation practice, but only a few years later I decided to investigate this practice, its philosophy and its long tradition further. I did my 200hr Yoga Teacher Training with Gypsea Yoga School and a few months later my 300hr Training with Pranaluz- both in Costa Rica – the most spacious country that I know.
Now I can say, this changed my life. I would have never thought I can give up my daily training and my passion as a performer. Until I realized it was more an obsession and not at all beneficial for my body, and certainly not for my mind. With the help of incredible teachers and coaches I went through an intense time of transformation. And I managed to give my system what it actually needed: Space.
I gave away some of my most important show productions, I had to say goodbye to some really nice job opportunities and I even lost some of my aerial skills.
But in return I gained so much freedom.
I have a completely different understanding now of how the body works and how it reacts to restriction. I spent a lot of time investigating how to create a healthy way to use our body on the floor and in the air with taking its space.
My mindset completely shifted from „I need this, and I need that“ to „wow, I am so grateful to have this and so curious what else might come“
As a freelance artist I usually had plans for the next 6 -8 weeks with most of the dates in the calender being options. Now I have plans and bookings for the next 1 ½ years.
I shifted from a place of fear and uncertainty to a deep trust and 100% believe in the law of attraction.
And I would not have gone that way, if it was not for Yoga.
It started with a few gentle stretches on the mat. The philosophy, the mindset, the helpful attitude of my amazing loving teachers and most of all the community that accepted me as I am, giving me space to grow and to heal and to develop – all this is Yoga. And it has certainly changed my mind.
I am still a circus performer. I still love to create shows. I still love to perform, travel and train. But I have a different approach now. One that gives me freedom and understanding. And it is my biggest wish to share this knowledge with anyone who might find themselves in the same position.
It was possible for me, so I believe it is possible for anyone.
Please reach out if you need any assistance in that. I am happy to share my experience and connect to other circus souls. Let´s help each other in these challenging times.
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